time for a change

It's time I moved. Everyone else is doing it and I wanted to feel included.

My new blog can be found here:

http://smokeandrain.wordpress.com/
(no Joy, I didn't copy you.......much....)

wordpress has some amazing custom tools and editing features that I've been looking for. It's generally an all-around feel-good experience. Like christmas morning, or a car that idles a little too much. Head on over and check it out.

Leadership

I've been wondering lately what it takes to be a good leader. I wonder because for the past month, I've been in a leadership role and I have been feeling like I've been a doing just a really bad job. I have continually trying to teach myself how to be a better role model and how to handle the challenging situations, but I keep finding myself wanting...I feel like I know where my problem is, I just wish I could figure out how to fix it.
It is easy for me to come up with creative ideas--it's easy for me to be passionate about something. My problem is (and always has been) in the follow through. It isn't from a lack of trying or a lack of understanding--in fact I believe it comes from the very opposite. I have learned how to be a good communicator, I have been taught how manage time and priorities; but I think I've grown complacent...it's as if, just because I studied, it means I don't have to keep practicing. I look back on it now and I can see a pretty consistent trend--I really don't like to practice. I can look back at so much of what I have learned and consequently stopped learning and can trace it back to how much I just don't want to practice. I only hope it's not too late to change that.

Incidentally, my dad is moving across the country tomorrow morning. My mom and sister will be following him over the next couple of months. My thoughts are constantly with them--this huge transition has taken it's toll on all of us. Good luck Dad, see you soon.

The Trouble With Youth Is

I think there is a common theme running through the mindset of people in my generation; I feel that the twenty-somethings-and-younger have a general sense of entitlement that filters the way the light reflects off the world into their eyes. I have noticed that one of the defining features of this contemporary age is choices.

The idea of progress has shaped our collective psyches to expect and require choices in every facet of living. What do I want to be when I grow up? Where do I want to live? Who do I want as friends? What do I want to wear tomorrow? Every choice we make is coupled options. There is a rub, however. The ability to choose creates uncertainty. Sounds a little strange to me too, uncertainty is part of life and healthy...in normal doses. But you live your life seeing nothing but ways-out and paths-around, then when you're told something is absolute it makes it a little difficult to believe. I think my generation has so many choices that they're afraid to actually pick one--they want to be assured that what they're picking is the right choice and that everything is going to be okay.

I never realized individualism could be such a scary concept. Life is off-road-luxury-package, create-your-own-pasta, save-on-airfare-when-you-book-a-hotel, zero-down-pay-when-someone-else-cares; fully automated and customized to fit your needs and every single want. I wonder if anyone realizes that we're all just getting the same thing in different colors?

So what does it mean?

If there's one thing I admire about my parents, it is that once they decide to do something they follow through until it's done. Both have been discussing the idea of moving back east to be closer to family, and to be in a place that doesn't feel so foreign to such right-coast-minded individuals. Recently my dad has been shopping around looking for a new challenge as a choir director--a full time job that he could focus all of his attention on. A few weeks ago he got an interview and an audition at a small church in Greenwood, South Carolina and found out yesterday that he got the job.
So what does it mean? It means my family is moving! Potentially within the next few weeks. No one is sure exactly what's happening, but my family is all picking up and moving back east. I'll obviously be finishing out my last year at CSUN, "I can't believe I'm saying this....but I'm staying in Korea!" (kudos if you get that). It's a weird thought, I have to admit. My family is going to be 3000 miles away, I mean I'm used to most of my family being so far away but I've been comfortable in the idea that my parents and sister were still just half a days drive away. I'll be fine, of course, I've been doing this whole college thing now for a couple of years and I'd like to think I've got a little bit of a handle on it....but there is an odd sinking feeling now, as if my safety net has been taken away.
But enough angst, this is an exiting time! My parents are moving back east and I couldn't happier for them--they've needed to get back to a place where they feel like they belong. Holiday's with the family, seeing their best friends more than once every four years, and snow. I know one thing, they finding their place has given me hope to find mine.

Marla