oh, that's very kafka-esque

If you've heard this statement before it's normally describing a very strange set of events that have no reason by someone who is trying to sound pretentious (and is normally succeeding). The reference comes from Franz Kafka's most famous work "The Metamorphosis"; a story about the unfortunate Gregor Samsa who is a hardworking young man and most regretibly turns into "a very large vermin." He spends the entire story deeling with life from this perverted perspective--most prominantly his relationship with his family who had been relying on him to support their living. Unfortunately for them, there is not hope for that as Gregor Samsa is now a very large vermin. Beginning to understand "Kafka-esque" yet? Yeah, me either.
Kafka uses the surreal idea of the metamorphasis to explore the fragility of the relationship between Gregor and his family. While the story goes out of it's way at times to be just plain strange, Kafka makes it subtly clear that there is a serious strain on the relationship between Gregor and his family. Gregor has gone out of his way to be the utmost polite, deligent, and professional young man he can be, any parent would be proud of the struggle this boy goes through in order to keep his family accustomed to their lifestyle. However, we later find out that it is Gregor who is the sole supporter of his family--his father does not work which Gregor rationalizes away due to a previous illness. It is clear to the reader that the father has become complacent with his lifestyle and does not want to work. Gregor's sister, Grete, is a beautiful musician who Gregor feels especially close too. Out of extreme generosity and love for his sister Gregor plans to announce that he will put Grete through a conservatory, but even the close bond he feels with his sister is strained beyond the breaking point after his random transformation.
Now, Gregor is a large insect. His family is understanably distraught, and since it is a particularly uncommon thing to have your son turn into a horrifying bug, it is hardly something they bring up at the supermarket. Their reaction is empathetic at first, but their self depricating attitude lasts beyond a mourning period into an awkward period of angst. Gregor cannot understand why his family is so insistant on remaining so dismal instead of tyring to remake thier lives into something that can be appreciated--is it that they cannot get over the sorrow of losing their beloved son, or can they not get over the sorrow of loosing their meal ticket?
Kafka obviously draws on aspects of his own life in dealing with his parents and his sister (whom he shared a close personal relationship with), and the various aspects of their lives and how they affected him. It is clear that Kafka felt burdened by the lower-middle-class status of his devoutly jewish family. Kafka had grown up during a time of quickly-changing philosophies, when the idea that your past defined who you were was lost to the idea of discovering the true self. Kafka offers a post-modern concept (not brought around until at least thirty years past Kafka's writing era) with a semi-traditional german folk tale. All of kafka's characters in this story can be considered allegorical (Gregor the vermin, the old charwoman and the three bearded tenants especially). And as allegorical characters, each represent aspects of Kafka's life that basically call him a problem. Ultimately this is a style-experiment giving Kafka a place to vent about aspect of his life that are plague him. However in doing so, he touches on the real plight of the every-day man which sets the groundwork for all his later writing, which is largely along the lines of Nietszche's philosophical school.


This is definately a fun trip to wrap your mind around--read if if you have a few free days.



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A passing thought, and random thank you

In this world of indirection, artificial complacency, and pseudo-experiance, it was so nice to simply stop running and searching for fulfillment and sit down and watch a good movie with a good friend. I was searching for something fleeting and dull and got something much better.


So thank you.

Know Thyself

Who are you? Can you actually answer that question? I mean without writing an essay-long comment on this post (for clarification, I would welcome an essay-long comment on this post, if it meant people actually commented more than once, in fact go ahead! but I digress). I wonder how many of us truly know who we are, and what "being me" truly entitles. In literature the only characters people relate themselves to are the complex main characters of the story. The teen-age boy struggling between honoring his parents and his past and being his own man; the daughter desperately searching for her identity in a world that she feels she's abandoned her. Even still, these literary characters only offer us a fleeting glimpse into what we might deal with as human beings.
Even though we relate ourselves to these characters, they still fall short of defining us. It is a shame that our english language lacks the words to fully express who a person is. Instead we are a hodgepodge of nevaeu vernacular--words we either made up or else contorted to better fit the way we see ourselves. We wear patchwork hats of identity, and pull the most appropriate color foward to display depending on the situation. Today I will be a poet...Today I will be a car guy...Today I am a musician. Our immediate environment dictates to us who we are at that moment.
Our environments are temporary and fleeting. So why then do we allow ourselves to be clearly defined for a moment? It is possible, that by searching out every angle that is you, and understanding who you truly are, one may come across as pretentious. But why is understanding both your shortcomings and strong qualities such a bad thing? To know how one functions in all parts of your small take o the world is the only way one can help somone find answers with their problems.
Your friend asks you to give them advice on a very serious matter, how do you as a friend (but more improtably as a good person) offer them sound advice without first knowing how your would respond in that situation? You cannot offer clear sound advice to a person, advice that unviels all possible outcomes on their perspective of the world unless you have that very understanding of yourself. When we give up our multicolored hats and take the one that says "me" then we can take on the world, with the comfortbale knowledge that what ever situation is handed to us, we can and will come through.

mature for my age

I was in the third grade
the first time I ever said the word
Fuck.
My parents tried to hide it from me,
They kept the TV on the top shelf
with the hard liquor and the handgun,
but then again, they did say how I always liked to climb.

I was a Samurai, Fuck was my
double-edged sword.
I kept it hidden, under pressure
sitting patiently like a skeleton in it’s sheath
ready to slice through a prepubescent duel
with my cavalier coup-de-grace:
Fuck You.

I sent them home crying.
victory was sweet like the
blood of an orange running
sticky down my fingers on
a hot afternoon.
Fuck cut my throat like ice cold lemonade.
It was my friend and we didn’t need anyone.

I was the Emperor Ronin between
Holland and Grand—I was quick,
oh yes I was. I was sure none
were quicker. That’s why I was sure
of another sweet victory when I
went up against my mother.

She was not aware of my sojourn
To the top shelf, and when I said it;
Fuck you.
She was caught off guard.
But her geisha years came back to her,
her years of lipstick and fans and
that word.
her years without friends and without love
but with that word.
She told me to never say that word again
It made the air taste like salty corn.

I am older now and I have many scars,
Each one hurt less than the last.
I remember the bad old days,
When the world was on the top shelf
When I was pink-skinned and raw
I remember back then when Fuck was still my friend

Resolutions

It's easy to fall victim to such trite cliches and New Years Resolutions. The fact that they're so cliche is a good reason why they tend not to last. As a student, I find that summer is not simply a break from school, but a chance to rejuvinate, refresh, and come back to school a stronger person. That's why I've decided that this summer I am declaring my Summer's resolution; my resolution will be a few small goals I feel I need to come back to school and do a better job than I did this year.

This summer I resolve to slow myself down. I will drive less and walk (or ride) more, I will eat less and excercise more. I will start yoga.




what's your summer's resolution?