Wednesday, July 19, 2006
decisions
I'm trying to write a letter to the head of my department, telling him I've decided to switch majors. Is it ironic that the hardest thing I've had to do with the jazz department is tell them I don't want to be a jazz major anymore?
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Sojourn
Decided I needed to go to Sonora, so I did. Hopped in the car completely decked out with the new CD player, and my camera with a role of black and white film and drove up to Sonora. Spent the afternoon walking in and out of random shops, talking to strangers, and gabbing about chocolate confections (by the way, if you go to Sonora, visit Vicky at Yosemite Fudge Co. she's awesome).
Decided to travel up to Columbia after to the old town--found a girl my age smithing horse shoes and nail puzzles--a young girl blacksmith...that's cool.
been needing to get out of town for a while, just see something new. I'll show anyone who reads this what I saw after I get the pictures developed. Til then...
Decided to travel up to Columbia after to the old town--found a girl my age smithing horse shoes and nail puzzles--a young girl blacksmith...that's cool.
been needing to get out of town for a while, just see something new. I'll show anyone who reads this what I saw after I get the pictures developed. Til then...
Friday, July 14, 2006
teeter-totter
Music was his life, it was not his livelyhood...
I have found myself realizing recently that I have been dragging myself down the wrong path through the dark forest of higher education. For three years now I have been struggling to be a music major--practicing, studying, and playing for three years trying desperately how to express myself through music and playing catch up with those who already can. I realized that I already know to express myself through writing, and I've been denying my ability because music was the "right path for me". When all of this became clear to me, and that music isn't the path I should be seriously persuing, I realized that I knew this a long time ago.
I have been writing almost as long as I've been playing music, and even when I grew tired of playing music, I still found solace in writing. Writing gives me a chance to clearly express my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings so that when I tell other people about them, I hear them say "yes". Yes is a powerful word. When I wrote for the bee, I would recieve almost weekly-praises about my articles--people loved reading my articles and I loved writing them. When I played trombone the most common response was "not bad, but..." When I play, I rarely here a genuine "yes."
In this recent internal sojourn down the path of what-do-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up I realized that my problem has always lied in the decision making process--the choice of what we do with our lives doesn't come from the path of least-resistance. It comes from the path of most-praises; both personal praises and praises from other people.
...it made him feel so happy, and it made him feel so good...
This decision wasn't easy. My dad is a musician, my mom is a musician, my sister is a musician, my grandmother was a musician, all of my friends are musicians. Music has been my life, literally, since the day I was born. Since I can remember I've always known that I would be some sort of musician, even through the constant search for which is the right career for me (you know the routine, astronaut, fireman, police officer, member of the X-men, the usual) I knew music would someone be in there. It was logical for me to simply go with music, but there lies the problem. There is a fine line between passion and career, and the problem with all passion is that soaring highs can easily turn into desperate lows. I was working so hard at playing music that it stopped being fun, I began to forget why I wanted to be a music major, and slowly but surely it became clear that I, in fact, didn't. I love music, I absolutely love music, I love music so much that if I keep trying to be a music major I'm going to wind up jaded towards it and I will lose the passion I already have--I can't bear for that to happen.
Sometimes the only thing that tells us if we're redy for the plunge, it to go ahead and take it. Sometimes we find out it's not the right one. The trick is getting off the path and starting over before you get too far down the line. The more I think about it, the more I dwell on it, the more I (heh) write about it; the more I realize that writing is where I feel at home.
...and he did not know how well he sang, it just made him home...
(thank you, Harry Chapin--for everything)
I have found myself realizing recently that I have been dragging myself down the wrong path through the dark forest of higher education. For three years now I have been struggling to be a music major--practicing, studying, and playing for three years trying desperately how to express myself through music and playing catch up with those who already can. I realized that I already know to express myself through writing, and I've been denying my ability because music was the "right path for me". When all of this became clear to me, and that music isn't the path I should be seriously persuing, I realized that I knew this a long time ago.
I have been writing almost as long as I've been playing music, and even when I grew tired of playing music, I still found solace in writing. Writing gives me a chance to clearly express my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings so that when I tell other people about them, I hear them say "yes". Yes is a powerful word. When I wrote for the bee, I would recieve almost weekly-praises about my articles--people loved reading my articles and I loved writing them. When I played trombone the most common response was "not bad, but..." When I play, I rarely here a genuine "yes."
In this recent internal sojourn down the path of what-do-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up I realized that my problem has always lied in the decision making process--the choice of what we do with our lives doesn't come from the path of least-resistance. It comes from the path of most-praises; both personal praises and praises from other people.
...it made him feel so happy, and it made him feel so good...
This decision wasn't easy. My dad is a musician, my mom is a musician, my sister is a musician, my grandmother was a musician, all of my friends are musicians. Music has been my life, literally, since the day I was born. Since I can remember I've always known that I would be some sort of musician, even through the constant search for which is the right career for me (you know the routine, astronaut, fireman, police officer, member of the X-men, the usual) I knew music would someone be in there. It was logical for me to simply go with music, but there lies the problem. There is a fine line between passion and career, and the problem with all passion is that soaring highs can easily turn into desperate lows. I was working so hard at playing music that it stopped being fun, I began to forget why I wanted to be a music major, and slowly but surely it became clear that I, in fact, didn't. I love music, I absolutely love music, I love music so much that if I keep trying to be a music major I'm going to wind up jaded towards it and I will lose the passion I already have--I can't bear for that to happen.
Sometimes the only thing that tells us if we're redy for the plunge, it to go ahead and take it. Sometimes we find out it's not the right one. The trick is getting off the path and starting over before you get too far down the line. The more I think about it, the more I dwell on it, the more I (heh) write about it; the more I realize that writing is where I feel at home.
...and he did not know how well he sang, it just made him home...
(thank you, Harry Chapin--for everything)
Monday, July 03, 2006
"It "ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble...
...It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
-Mark Twain
When you were five, your world didn't go much beyond the block you lived on. When you twelve, your world didn't go much beyond your side of town, maybe your town at best. Now you've grown up, now you're all grown up and you have learned all about the world around you. Or have you? It is difficult to accept that what we think we know is inaccurate (or even wrong), yet how often do we find ourselves redifining what we know with a wider definition of what is actually true?
Global Warming has been a hot issue for a long time now. There has been growing acknowledgement that the way we live our lives is detrimental to the environment around us. Our complaceny, our thirst for a more convienant life, has come at the cost of dramatically altering nature. You get in your car to drive to work, stop on the way to get a latte and a bottle of water. It's hot out today--seems much hotter than it did this time last year--so you turn on the air conditioner at work; without thinking you crank the dial down four or five degress. The day ends and you get back in your car and drive home. The house is a mess, so you start cleaning up, throwing away all the newspapers and plastic bottles from the same routine from the days before. To someone who's day mirrors this, it may not seem all that bad. You're just one person, right? One person is all the difference when it comes to global warming, you do have an affect, and that is the point of the growing global warming movement, and the point behind Al Gore's an Inconvienant Truth.
An Inconvienant Truth, part environmental presentation/part behind the scenes documentary, follows Al Gore on the road as he goes from place to place, country to country give his "slide show" a detailed presentation on the adverse affects of global warming. His friendly demeanor and charming charisma draws you into listen to every word he has to say, whether about the ice shelf of antarctica melting, or of his son's near-death experaince when he was six year old. Gore cares about this issue, as much as he cares about his family, and in his soft-spoken way, make you realize that they two are absolutely related. Gore's presentation is poignant and well-assembled, he successfully addresses every issue that has caused a contraversy with global warming and effectively crushes them. His facts are solid, his graphs are colorful (and numerous). The presentation is suited for any audience who may see it (using an explination of global warming from television's "Futurama" certainly helps).
The movie is good, the message is better. I was on the fence for a long time, but this movie has certianly enlightened me. I've heard many say that this issue is just politics. I've heard many rationalize this problem as nothing more than cyclical. This movie answers your questions. Go see it while it's still playing at the State.
-Mark Twain
When you were five, your world didn't go much beyond the block you lived on. When you twelve, your world didn't go much beyond your side of town, maybe your town at best. Now you've grown up, now you're all grown up and you have learned all about the world around you. Or have you? It is difficult to accept that what we think we know is inaccurate (or even wrong), yet how often do we find ourselves redifining what we know with a wider definition of what is actually true?
Global Warming has been a hot issue for a long time now. There has been growing acknowledgement that the way we live our lives is detrimental to the environment around us. Our complaceny, our thirst for a more convienant life, has come at the cost of dramatically altering nature. You get in your car to drive to work, stop on the way to get a latte and a bottle of water. It's hot out today--seems much hotter than it did this time last year--so you turn on the air conditioner at work; without thinking you crank the dial down four or five degress. The day ends and you get back in your car and drive home. The house is a mess, so you start cleaning up, throwing away all the newspapers and plastic bottles from the same routine from the days before. To someone who's day mirrors this, it may not seem all that bad. You're just one person, right? One person is all the difference when it comes to global warming, you do have an affect, and that is the point of the growing global warming movement, and the point behind Al Gore's an Inconvienant Truth.
An Inconvienant Truth, part environmental presentation/part behind the scenes documentary, follows Al Gore on the road as he goes from place to place, country to country give his "slide show" a detailed presentation on the adverse affects of global warming. His friendly demeanor and charming charisma draws you into listen to every word he has to say, whether about the ice shelf of antarctica melting, or of his son's near-death experaince when he was six year old. Gore cares about this issue, as much as he cares about his family, and in his soft-spoken way, make you realize that they two are absolutely related. Gore's presentation is poignant and well-assembled, he successfully addresses every issue that has caused a contraversy with global warming and effectively crushes them. His facts are solid, his graphs are colorful (and numerous). The presentation is suited for any audience who may see it (using an explination of global warming from television's "Futurama" certainly helps).
The movie is good, the message is better. I was on the fence for a long time, but this movie has certianly enlightened me. I've heard many say that this issue is just politics. I've heard many rationalize this problem as nothing more than cyclical. This movie answers your questions. Go see it while it's still playing at the State.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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