Who are you?

Some say that we are defined by the friends we make. Others say that we grow as people because of the environment we put ourselves in--by the friends we take into our lives. But at what point do we grow because of our friends, and at what point is our growth hindered by them?

Everyone is familiar with the tired old addage "be yourself." While i'm not disputing it's validity, I wonder how sincerely we keep to such a rigid rule. How does one "be themselves" anyway? I suppose it would start with knowing who you, as a person, really are. This takes us back to the beginning: we are what our friends make of us. Is this absolutely true? Absolutely not. But I believe that we would be fooling ourselves to say that we do not (at times) bend ourselves to fit the image of what our friends want us to be. There are times we do not make a snide remark out of politeness because it may offend one of our friends, even if we find it hysterical. We forgive our friends for saying something inappropriate because "that's just how they are."

Everytime we let something go, everytime we don't say what's on our minds, or on our hearts we placate ourselves to the image we want to maintain in our friends eyes. We are all guilty of allowing ourselves to fold the will of others, simply because being true to ourselves every waking moment of every day is just too tiresome. For those of you who are currently shaking their heads I do not say that it is done intentionally, or even consciously; but I'll bet that once or twice in your life you've really wanted to do something and thought better of it because of what others might say.

So, we cut our stones against that of our friends, in order to help shape who we are. Doing so is neccessary to make us well-rounded individuals. So when do we decide when to chip and when to be chipped? Friendship, relationships, life, everything is about give and take. It is a dance between Person A and World B and I suppose the real trick is not letting your partner step on your toes.

If none of this made any sense, then I only hope you don't feel like you wasted your time here. But if this sounds familiar, then please tell me. If you feel that sometimes it just feels like you've bent over backwards so that world can push you a little further, then talk to me--reach out and let me know. Perhaps we can found a support group, and maybe between the two of us we can find a way to put a stop to it.